Working with children is never an easy task, let alone groups of children with Specific Learning Differences. In our line of work as Educational Therapists, we meet children of different temperaments, from the quiet and shy ones to the wild and active. And most often, we come face to face with children who have difficulties regulating their emotions. Which makes cultivating friendships and learning, challenging. Their actions are heavily fuelled by emotions which may lead to tensions between the group of children or even between educator and child.

 

Ideally, we would love an emotionally balanced class dynamic to conduct our lessons. Alas, emotions are unpredictable! In those emotionally charged moments, instinctually, our main concern to remove the perpetrator for causing tensions. Sometimes, even the most patient and levelled-headed educators get pulled along into the turmoil of conflicting emotions. However, as the adult in the learning environment, we are to regulate our own emotions, keep calm and tap on moments to re-direct children to practice mindfulness during a conflict. Mindfulness is an awareness technique to regulate emotions and behaviour during an emotionally charged event. According to Hamilton (2016), this skill requires the individual to stay present, remove present thoughts and judgements, to focus on the sensations running through the body and breath to regain equilibrium. Once all parties are calm, we help children to identify their emotions and have them put a label to how they are feeling. When such turbulent emotions are put into words, control is perceived, allowing children to react in a productive manner (DeStress Monday, 2020). According to research done by Lieberman et, al. (2007), affect labelling reduces the response of the amygdala, the brain center for defining and regulating emotions, and other limbic regions from tipping into negative emotions.

 

After identifying the emotion, it is necessary that children understand the connection between their emotions and subsequent actions. For example, two scenarios of an angry child; One, child is angry, he hits, he achieves immediate gratification but is rewarded with punishment. Child stays angry or emotions might even escalate. Two, child is angry, tells an adult. Adult and child work together to reach an understanding, child experiences delayed gratification and emotions are regulated towards a productive outcome.

 

Often, there is likely a trigger to the emotional outburst, which even the child may be unaware of. It is important that we help children in identifying their emotions and guiding them to identifying the source. Primary emotions such as happiness, sadness and anger are easy for children to put a name to it and they can immediately match it to the event that caused the emotions. However, secondary emotions such as fear, frustrations and shame are much harder for them to name and complicated for them to verbalise and match up to an event. These emotions are considerably harder to understand as they require higher cognitive functions to identify and connect to any preluding or resulting behaviours. Educators should be sensitive enough to differentiate a child’s frustrations from anger, sadness from shame, etc. They require our guidance to make sense of why they will feel certain emotions and how they should handle these emotions.

 

At the DAS, in our preschool classrooms, Early Educational Therapists are equipped with tools and strategies to aid children in identifying their emotions and learning how to control such emotions. Sometimes, it is not easy for children to open up about how they feel. We engage a delicate approach of emotion-event sharing by doing a Feelings Check-in at the start of the class, taking up a conversional approach by asking children about how they are feeling at the moment or in the day. We also inquire on what possible events happened to make them feel a certain emotion. Sometimes, children are unable to place a word to their emotions so we use a pictorial guide to help them visually connect to the emotion they are feeling. Children should be given the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversations as it allows them to express their thoughts, and achieve their needs. Adults need to guide children towards resolving conflicts through open-ended questions, and engage them with ample opportunities to share and “think deep” (Resources for Early Learning, 2014).

 

As mentioned before, emotions are unpredictable. Children may come into class happy but halfway through the lesson, their moods may dampen due to unexpected conflicts. A chart can be used to monitor the fluctuations of emotions in the class – individually or even for the class as a whole. Children who require more explicit expression of emotions can have a chart for themselves, enabling the educator to be aware of any impeding outbursts. The overall class emotion chart can also be used as a visual aid for the children to monitor their behaviours. It can serve as an emotional check in for the adult as well. It is important that the adult keep calm and be patient when dealing with emotions. Children develop self-regulation by watching and being guided by the adults around them.

 

Many a times, children are able to reach their own conclusions for their own emotions but are unable to express them appropriately. We can guide them by putting ourselves in the position of the child and verbalise the emotion, leading them to a favourable behaviour to handle the emotion.

 

For example, “I can see you are very frustrated about not being able to complete your work. I feel frustrated too when I cannot finish my work. But do you see me throwing my things around? No. What I can do to make myself feel better? I can take a rest or a nap, walk around or drink some water or maybe even watch a funny video. When I am feeling better, I can continue my work. So, what can you do to make yourself feel better?”. The chosen behaviour outcomes have to be concrete and precise for children to understand that their emotions and behaviours are connected and hence be conscious of them.

 

To elaborate, using the phrase we often use with our children, “if you did something wrong, you should apologise.” Here, we see the behaviour (child did something wrong) and the consequence (child apologise). We will need to backtrack to why did the child do something wrong, what was the event leading up to the behaviour, and what/how was he feeling before he acted.  This is reminiscent to the Antecedent-Behaviour-Consequences (A-B-C) model, an observational tool for connecting event, behaviour and consequence, while “removing the emotions” to objectively make a connection (Synapse, 2021). Though contrary, to translate this approach into our learning environment and suiting it to the delicacy of children and the situation, we adapted it to a conversional approach. This helps children in recognising and verbalising their emotions and their possible actions in a guided manner as they engage in meaningful conversation with the educator, allowing the development of emotional regulation and coping strategies when faced with possible emotional triggers.

 

Other than having children label and chart their emotions during check-ins and having conversations, concrete distractions and explanations can also be used such as home-made calming jars, listening to a song/chant/video or even games that practices mindfulness. Calming jars are sensory objects, when shook, a leisured motion of swirling and glittery patterns can assist in soothing and calm the troubled mind (Dady, 2021). Sometimes, children are unable to take instructions from an adult but they are especially receptive to animation characters such as Big Bird, Elmo and Cookie Monster from The Sesame Street where concepts of socially acceptable behaviours and mindfulness are introduced (Hammer, 2019). Lastly, adults may be apprehensive to introduce games to their children, as it may excite them more, especially in a class environment. Nonetheless, there are games and activities to help develop awareness, practice mindful seeing and listening such as Balancing on One Foot, Jenga and Simon Says (Bergstrom in Ackerman, 2021). Such games are simple and does not need much to carry out, making it ideal for educators to fit into the lesson while staying on schedule!

 

The emotional burden of shouldering anyone’s emotions is immense, educators also face emotional turmoil from time to time. While putting on a calm exterior while in class, educators may be experiencing a raise of emotions within ourselves, often anger, helplessness and guilt when we are unable to help our students or experiences a conflict with them. Our management sees the need to address these hidden landmines and formed a team of experts who are qualified to “educate DAS professionals in the areas of social and emotional support” with the influence of “counselling, mindfulness, positive psychology and science of well-being”. H.E.A.L (Health, Education, Alternative Learning) is a wellness powerhouse that adds value to the learning experience through “psychological safety, conflict resolution via innovative and sustainable teaching approaches.” They also support the overall “climate of the classroom and mental well-being of both educators and students, reflecting the fundamental value of inclusivity” (HEAL, 2021)

 

Despite the challenges, it is necessary that we create an environment that is safe for any emotional sharing. A rapport must be built between educator and child to allow emotional trust to happen and for them to feel assured to express without apprehension. Our DAS preschool programme strives to achieve emotional literacy in our children, alongside the academic literacy, to enable a positive holistic growth. A trusting environment will go a long way in guiding children in their abilities in expressing their emotions. As the desire to create holistic growth in our student grows, we create elaborate lesson plans and activities to engage them. However, we have to acknowledge that things may not always go according to plan and not be discouraged, keeping in mind to be calm, practice mindfulness, check-in with children and empathise (HEAL, personal communication, February 24, 2022).

 

Jacklyn Tso
Preschool Educational Therapist
RETA Associate Fellow

Learn more about Jacklyn!

 

References

Ackerman, C. E. (2021, December 6). 18 mindfulness games, worksheets and activities for kids. Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-for-kids/

Dady, J. (2021, June 10). Glitter jars: how to make your own clam down jar or bottle. Good to Know. https://www.goodto.com/family/things-to-do/glitter-jars-how-to-calm-down-jar-105300

DeStress Monday. (2020, July 20). Put your feelings into words. DeStress Monday. https://www.mondaycampaigns.org/destress-monday/put-your-feelings-into-words#:~:text=Translating%20ambiguous%20feelings%20into%20words,them%20less%20painful%20and%20distracting.

Hamilton, D. M. (2016, February 16). Calming your brain during conflict. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2015/12/calming-your-brain-during-conflict

Hammer, B. (2019, December 4). 7 SEL lessons Sesame Street has taught us all. Edmentum. https://blog.edmentum.com/7-sel-lessons-sesame-street-has-taught-us-all

HEAL. (2021). Child Safety Framework [Review of Child Safety Framework]. Dyslexia Association of Singapore.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007, May 1). Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli [Abstract]. Psychological science, 18(5), 421–428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

Resources for Early Learning. (n.d.). Engaging children in meaningful conversation. Resources for Early Learning. http://resourcesforearlylearning.org/educators/module/20/7/19/

Synapse. (2021, November 25). The ABC approach to behaviour support. Synapse. https://synapse.org.au/fact-sheet/the-abc-approach-to-behaviour-support/